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  • Writer's pictureKylee Hamblyn

The Cost of Relationship Coaching - Is It Really Worth It?

April 12, 2022 | Relationship Coaching / Relationship Therapy

You and your partner have determined that getting help would be beneficial for your relationship. Before you schedule your first appointment, you will most likely be asking how much is this going to cost us?

What you pay for each session will vary, depending on whether you’re attending as a couple or as an individual and whether you are wanting to invest into a scientific analysis of your relationship (like Gottman’s Relationship Assessment) to help identify key areas to work on, or go ‘session by session’, taking a more relaxed approach.

In this article, I’ll Identify some of the variables to help you weigh the costs vs benefits. Including what it will cost you to go to therapy vs the costs for not going.

The Cost of Going to Relationship Coaching

When calculating the cost of relationship coaching. It’s not just the actual money you’ll invest, but also your time and energy. The variables increase compared to any sort of individual coaching, as you have to factor not only what YOU bring to the session, but also what your PARTNER will bring.

How much is a couples session?

In New Zealand rates tend to range from $130 up to around the $300 mark. The reason for this variance will depend on the time the person spends with you (from a 50-minute session up to a 90 minute session). Rates may also be affected by credentials, qualifications and experience. Do they specialize in couples therapy (have they earned a certification in a research-based approach to couples therapy, like Gottman, Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) Or does your therapist specialize in another well-known couples therapy approach, like PACT, Imago, etc.?)

Do they have personal experience that adds value?

The Cost of Not Going to Relationship Coaching

The cost of not going to couples therapy can be pretty big in itself (take this from first hand experience!). Wounds of the past tend to have lasting effects if left untreated, and the longer they are left untreated, the longer it can take to heal them.

For a period of time, it might feel better to avoid, distract, or distance yourself from some of those wounds, however, they tend to have a way of playing out and can possibly cause greater harm down the road if you don’t address them and work towards healing. Here are a few ways not going to therapy can cost you.

Generational Wounds/Trauma

Many people tell me that the problems they are facing in their own relationships are a repetition of problems they grew up with in their families of origin, often swearing they would never repeat these same problems. If you have children, these patterns will most likely be passed on to them if the work isn’t put in now.

The Cost to your Physical Wellbeing

Your physical health will be impacted by negative relationship dynamics if left untreated. Contempt is a great example, Dr. John Gottman shares with us through his decades of research that contempt is like “sulfuric acid for love” and it impacts us on is physically. The scientific research has shown that many individuals have suffered from infectious illness due to contempt in their relationships.

The Cost of Divorce

If you compare the cost of a divorce process to the cost of couples therapy, some couples spend upwards of $5000 each to complete the divorce process. In comparison to investing occasionally into couples therapy or coaching. Even at the higher end of $300 per session over a course of 8 sessions that would only be $2400 total in comparison, and you’d likely be a whole lot happier for it! FYI I don’t charge $300 per session! Unless it is an unusually long session ;-)

Although there is no guarantee that relationship coaching will solve all of your problems; it’s likely that you will experience significant improvements in your relationship over a relatively short period of time. I’ve had couples report improvements after their very first session. Couples therapy can help each partner to clarify their desires and to communicate their struggles in a safe and supportive environment, in order to find a way forward together.

Can you afford couples therapy?

You have a lot to consider. You’ll need to determine what fits within your budget, the non-monetary costs and benefits, and ultimately what works best for you and your partner. The gains of investing and participating in couples therapy can be huge and the satisfaction you’ll likely both enjoy, as well as your children (if you have them).

It’s been proven that couples who work on their relationship will notice a positive change to their relationship satisfaction, they enjoy better communication skills, and have increased general health & wellbeing. Another bonus to doing the work on your relationship, is that couples in long-term relationships who invest in working on their relationship also report having more satisfying sex lives, and who doesn’t want that!?

If you are ready to schedule an appointment you can contact me here, or if you’d like to book a Free 15 Minute Consult, just ask :)

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